Monday, 29 March 2010

Back again

Wow, the last few weeks have flown by! Sorry I haven't been around for a while, I seem to have had a writers block and nothing seemed to flow, so I just left it. Well I'm back now.....

What has happened in the past weeks? Well I turned 39 on the 16th and am holding on with both hands. The number 40 sounds scary to my ears and I don't know how I'm going to react when next March rolls around. What I do know is that I want to have a party.......we'll see if I laugh or cry!!

I decided that I wanted to spend my birthday doing something crafty, so I coloured in and cut out these lovely butterflies (my favourite embellishment at the moment) and made these cards. The kids thought I was a little mad, but it was my birthday and this is what I wanted to do! I received lots of birthday greetings and spent quite a few hours on the phone. All in all it was a good day.

The hubster took me to the opera a week after my birthday to see Verdi's relatively unknown "Alzira". It was sung in Italian and luckily for the audience there were sub-titles on a small screen above the stage. I thought it was a brilliant idea. At least you were able to get an idea of what they were singing!

Melissa has finally finished her 60 page paper on "Diabetes Mellitus Type II" and will hand it in today. She is hoping for at least a "B" grade. We are all glad that she is finished and life can become normal again for a few months before life changes again in September. Perhaps she can start dating again, now that she has time.....

We went to Basel after church yesterday to visit The hubster's grandmother who had taken a turn for the worse. RenĂ©, (father-in-law)  was also at the nursing home with us. We had hoped she would reach her 100th birthday (her birthday is in July), but it seems it's not to be. She was very weak and wasn't coherent the entire time we were there. The doctors had put her on morphine to ease the pain as she was refusing food and water. We stayed for 3 hours and said our goodbyes. It was sad. I've know Omi, as the family call her since October 1988 and I even stayed with her for 6 weeks when I came over to Switzerland in February 1989. We had an interesting time as I couldn't speak German and she couldn't speak English. We used our hands and facial mimics an awful lot during those six weeks! :)
We saw her reguarly, and for the last few years before we moved away from the Basel area, we used to visit her nearly every Sunday evening. I have fond memories, and am grateful for her help with the Swiss/German cuisine. My potato salad recipe is from her as is my salad vinaigrette. 

Jordan and Daniel got a little bored so they took turns playing around with her wheelchair (I got side-tracked and didn't take any of Daniel....sorry kiddo!)

We got a phone call from René this morning informing us that Omi (Mina Zoller-Ludwig) had passed away at 00:15 this morning. We're now just waiting for information regarding the funeral. Another generation/era has come to an end.....

I went to the doctors this morning regarding the pain in my shoulder. If you remember, I fell on the ice last month and it is still causing me pain 7 weeks later. I have to have an MRI on Wednesday but he's pretty sure the tendon is not torn but just strained. I'll keep you informed....

It's my oldest brother, Brian's birthday today. He is 17 years my senior - work it out yourself to find out how old he is today :) He is already a grand-dad.......such a strange thought! 
I am the same age my mother was when she had me. I couldn't imagine having another baby at my age, although I don't think my age is the issue, rather that it's been 11 years ago since our last baby was born and 19 since our oldest. I can only imagine what my mother must have been feeling when the doctor informed her that she was pregnant! I wouldn't be too pleased either! You have so much more freedom when the children are older and I can only imagine how hard it was for her to lose that freedom especially as she thought she was finished having babies!
I was 19 years and 10 months old when I had Melissa. Can you imagine if that were Melissa? She is exactly the age I was when I found out that I was pregnant. 
I am glad that I was blessed with the opportunity to get married and have my children when I was young. I am aware that not everyone has that opportunity and I know that I have been lucky. 

Hugs all,


Monday, 8 March 2010

Being happy

I've been a bit philisophical this past week......

If you would have asked me two weeks ago how I was doing I would have answered, "Life is great! There's hardly anything to complain about. I am content." 

If you would have asked me the same question last week then the answer would have been different. I would have said, "I'm angry, tired and I would like to strangle a few people!" 
I guess it's partially my own fault. I was the one that said "everything is great"! I should know by now that as soon as I put those words into my mouth, something always goes wrong! :) I asked myself why it's not possible to have a half a year of trial free life so I can re-charge my batteries for the next trial!?

This past week I've been thinking if it is possible to be happy and content regardless of whatever trials I or my family are facing. I asked myself what changed last week from the week before to make me unhappy? Are the things that made me happy and content the week before still there in my life? I came to the conclusion that I am still happy and content with my life but that external factors caused me to forget that for a while as I concentrated on the bad things that were going on. I let them take over. 
Don't get me wrong, the things we went through last week were (in my opinion) only found in movies directed by Hollywood, and our feelings were justified but I was swallowed up in them and it robbed me of my sleep and made my head hurt!
My feelings of gratitude for my life, my family, Roland's job, our lovely home, the gospel, good health, safe country etc. are ever present and I realise that regardless of whatever goes on in life we shouldn't forget the good things.

Of course there are things that I would like to be different, but I've noticed that nearly all of these things go against somebody else's free will. I know that I can't change anybody; I can only change myself and my attitude towards that problem. For example, I can't make my child get good grades. I can motivate and help where I can but the child himself has to be the one to make the effort. If I were to do his homework he wouldn't know what to do in class or in a test. We have to let our children "suffer" (sacrifice play time to learn for a test) for them to be able to grow and make the progress they need but it doesn't have to be a miserable time.  It can also be fun if we help them see the benefits.

Use me as an example: I hate ironing. I push it away from me as much as I can but it is inevitable that the day will come when child "x" has no more clothes to wear or my darling husband "kindly" informs me that he hasn't got any more shirts in his wardrobe! So I moan and grumble and I do the ironing and funnily enough I don't mind ironing while I'm actually doing it. It's more the thought of doing it that sends me into a tizzy! And I do feel a sense of achievement when all the baskets are empty - I just wish that feeling would last longer than half a day!

Question to self: Does the fact that doing something I don't like to do make me unhappy?
No! Of course it doesn't! My base feeling of happiness and contentment isn't at risk. But I do acknowldge that for me ironing is a "trial" and although I would rather be doing something else, I am aware that it is a necessary part of my duties as a mother and housewife.  Can I learn to love it? I'm not sure about that but I do know that it is in my power how I act and react to it.

So my challenge to myself: Next time a trial comes knocking on my door,  I try to remember what my blessings are and put the trial into the correct perspective. And most important: Remember that the Lord won't give me more than I can handle.

When did I become so wise?!

Hugs all,

p.s. if we have to iron in heaven, then I'm not going!!

Tuesday, 2 March 2010

Project 365 Blog

Yesterday I decided to upload my project 365 photos on to a separate blog. I am using the same photos that I am putting in my album and similar, though shorter journal entries. If you are interested follow this link 

Hugs all,